The Memory Care Tour Guide
What I Look for When I Walk Into a Facility
Tap a question to tick it off as you go. Your ticks stay on this phone.
Touring a memory care facility is a time for questions, not just looking.
Listen, but pay attention. Hold people to their answers, and notice how staff talk to residents when they don't think you're really watching. Chipped paint matters less than residents who look cared for.
Go twice, once at a hard hour like mid-afternoon or right before dinner, or on a weekend.
The full guide is here: Download the PDF
Who works here
People can get defensive about turnover, so ask it gently: “Are the people caring for residents consistent? I know that matters in dementia care, and I'd like to know how long staff typically stay.”
Answering the phone
Call the facility and picture you're worried about your loved one.
A day, in practice
Ask what an ordinary day looks like, start to finish, not the version on the brochure.
Meals
Ask to sit and watch one full meal, if possible. This is a great time to take in a lot of information that you will find useful later. A full meal isn't necessary if you don't have that time, just be aware that this might be something you want to know about.
Behaviors
Residents do best when their days have real stimulation. That doesn't mean academic activities or rigorous exercise, it means real time outdoors.
Wandering and doors
Most memory care units legally can't lock residents in their rooms. Ask how they manage that if other residents wander at night, or if someone is having their things stolen. This happens in every memory care, so what we're looking for when I ask this is: what will the steps be to help solve a problem like this if it should happen with my loved one?
Room changes
What triggers moving a resident to a new room or a different unit? Sometimes this is done as a knee jerk reaction. We want to know that you will be consulted if this needs to happen. Moving rooms and units causes stress, anxiety, and confusion for someone with a fragile brain. We want to know that the facility is thinking about this.
The emergency room
Staying in the loop
Caregiving doesn't end when memory care starts. For a lot of families, this is where it really begins.
End of life
What you'll notice without asking
Before you talk yourself into the courtyard or the dining room, ask one question: could I picture the person I love being cared for here on their worst day. Not their best one. This is a guide to start thinking about what it will be like if you have to work with this facility. In moving someone into memory care, you're entering a partnership, and a better understanding of the dynamics you will be working with is important.
Often people make choices because they are concerned about the scarcity of beds. Please be aware that often these wait lists are not as long as we might think. Do not make rash decisions if it can be avoided.
Touring memory care can get overwhelming fast. If you're looking at facilities now and want another set of eyes on what you're seeing, call or email me and tell me what part of the process you're in.
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